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  • Not Insomnia, but something like it

    I don't know why I love the nighttime so much. And a particular time of nighttime; the real late part. I don't even care so much for the early part of it, nightfall, because I quite like the daytime too and I hate seeing it fade away everyday wondering if I'd done anything of value. Also because in the beginning of the night you are always preparing for wherever you will be in the thick of the night, and I'm always late and feeling rushed about it. People close to me think it's a diva syndrome, me taking awhile to get out the house, but it's really just that my time hasn't come yet.

    It's 4am and this is my favorite part of it: the phone doesn't much ring, the traffic subsides for about five minutes, and the old day is long enough gone to have let go any anxiety of underacheivement while the new day is far enough in the distance to feel like you can still prepare for it. This is not insomnia. I don't have insomnia, because I can sleep anywhere, damn near anytime if I feel up to it. That practice has been slowly & precisely honed by unsubsiding months on the road, spending nights in airplane economy cabins and napping away afternoons on empty road cases backstage just waiting to soundcheck. No, this is different than insomnia, because this is a will not to sleep, almost like a satisfaction in overcoming everyone else's predictable and conformist 'routine'. Haha, so punk rock.

    But no I'm not really angsty about staying up late, like I was when I was angsty about everything...I get the most creative work done at this time. I really need the time & space to do my best shit, and particularly if someone is here in the studio working with me and keeping a watchful, or even a distracted eye over me. Believe me I can get caught up in a wikipedia hole, searching for who produced my favorite rock records to how Bruce Lee died to whatever happened to Jesse the MTV VJ (FYI: it doesn't end well) like it's nobody's business. But if some artist I'm working with or one of my bandmates or my girlfriend can bear that grisly transition between 'it's late' and 'it's early' with me, then I'm really at my best. Consequently nobody is here tonight, probably why I'm writing in this journal instead of writing songs, ha.

    Anyway, coming off of 2 days rehearsal for the upcoming Drake/Miguel 'Would You Like A Tour?'. Miguel's band is killin', we are gonna give Drake's show a motherfucking run for his money every single night. And I hope he does the same, but seriously we're going for blood. No disrespect, "that's the competitive spirit of hip hop." (-R.A. the Rugged Man Monomaniac also brought a new producer, the first other than myself and Ryan, into the fold last night at a dope meeting full of all the things I could have wanted. I'd like to tell you all about it but there's nothing to tell yet, except that these songs will get sung, strummed and heard, and now they'll sound even doper than expected or than I could have done on my own. That's the update, and it's 5am.